Henry's a NO SHOW
STILL no baby. We're trying as hard as we can. I've been rolling Sommer around on the floor and taking her for rides on my motorcycle and still nothing. If any of you have any suggestions, please let us know!
posted by by Travis Luther, President @ 10:44 AM
4 Comments:
At 9:33 PM,
tdstephens3 said…
As per the previous posting...
The Baby will arrive March 07 at 3:30 pm. Just be patient!
At 6:50 PM,
tdstephens3 said…
Travis, try this...
Sommer can be placed, lying on her back, onto a rotating table. Position her so that her hips are off-center as to generate a force along the "baby-shoot" direction. I would begin spinning the table at one revolution per minute to let her stomach and inner ears come into agreement... then increase the speed as needed. Maybe Sommer should wear some baggy pants for this so Henry isnt hurled out into the living room.
Of course it will work, but you may have to go to the park to find the nearest merry-go-round set up.
email me back with the results!
At 9:33 PM,
tdstephens3 said…
OK, Wait, wait... Ive got it!
First, go take the dog for "a walk" and suffer a traumatic accident. (now, this must look real and unfortunately the best way to make an injury look real is to actually obtain a legitimate injury... fake blood usually is a bit too runny and winces and groans are difficult to produce consistently.) Run, walk crawl or drag yourself back home (with dog - uninjured). Find Sommer in the house and relate your misfortunes.
The initial part of the gambit has been set.
She will undoubtedly react emotionally, and the kicker here is that she will react physically, too. I presume her water will burst at that very moment and much excitement can be generated in this event. Who will drive whom to the doctor?!!
By now, the gambit is well underway and it is only a matter of time before you can spring up into action to be the hero, catching the baby in the delivery room. You may even perform a cart-wheel for theatrical effect, thus proving the psycho-somatic impact of such a joyous event as natural child birth.
Vio-la. The baby will born.
At 9:43 PM,
tdstephens3 said…
Travis... What went wrong? That last plan, although fairly detailed, was not too far fetched. I ran A LOT of computer simulations to come up with those instructions! According to my plan that series of events should have produced a baby in less than six hours. Instead you went BACK HOME - SANS new baby!!!
Now youre on your own. I cant keep manipulating the fundamental constants of the physical world for you two hacks out there in Denver, ooh - the rocky mountains, "we're all vegitarians out here!" Colorado people are a little nuts, has anyone ever told you that?
By the way, what is that noise - is there a baby crying in the background here?
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